peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
