Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
