I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they're like a gay fantastic four
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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