I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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