I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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