I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I will be naked everywhere
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
