I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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