I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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