I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
