So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
