Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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