So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
