i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
