its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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