I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
