u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
