I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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