I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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