a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
