Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
