mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
