Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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