I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize