I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize