Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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