I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
