Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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