i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
