Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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