You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
