No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
