Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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