Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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