she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
