You really coming over, don't trick.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
