yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Everclear isn't food dammit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
