There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
