Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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