so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
