got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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