It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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