Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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