Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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