check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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