I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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