do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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