Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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