Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
