dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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