The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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