im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
