Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
whose ass print is on the piano?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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