hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
