There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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