just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
