My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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