It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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