alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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