Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
