:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
