in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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