hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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