dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He did a backflip because drugs
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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