the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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