I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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