can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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