Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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