she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize