your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
