Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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