Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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