my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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