whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
