Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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