My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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