It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
